The Inseparable Bond Of Love And Unity

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her;
and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

My Dearest Friends in Christ,

Welcome to the table of God’s Word.

Today’s readings remind us of the sacred nature and the indissolubility of Christian marriage. As such, a little catechesis on marriage will greatly benefit us.

MARRIAGE AS A SACRAMENT
Marriage is a sacrament between a baptized man and woman ordained by God for their good (conjugal love), for procreation, and for the education of their children. These are the ends of marriage. Conjugal love is the very essence of marriage, without which, other ends have no meaning. A cohabitation without sacramental marriage is living in concubinage. Dear friend, if you are living with a man or woman without a sacramental union, it is sinful. Your girlfriend is not your wife. Get it right. Jesus is reminding you today that He is waiting to bless you and your girlfriend or fiancee at the altar to unite you as husband and wife. Don’t ignore Him.

MARRIAGE AS A COVENANT
Marriage is not a contract but a covenantal relationship between a man and a woman in which God is the third party. Marriage has a contractual element but unlike secular marriage contracts (civil marriage) Christian marriage (Catholic) is eternally binding and indissoluble. Hence, divorce is a word that does not exist in the Church’s dictionary. Annulment on the other hand is not a form of divorce, it simply means that no marriage existed from the beginning even though the rituals were performed. It must be emphasized especially as the family institution has been under threat in our world today that According to Canon 1153.1 A spouse who occasions grave danger of soul or body to the other or the children or otherwise makes common life unduly difficult, provides the other spouse with a reason to leave, either by a decree of the local Ordinary or, if there is danger in delay, even on his or her authority. I beg of you, if your marriage is in crisis or becoming toxic or life-threatening take a break, the Church allows separation under such circumstances. Don’t quickly rush to divorce but don’t wait until your life sinks into the grave before you separate. (cf. #1153.1). According to the U.S. Catechism for Adults, “The Church’s fidelity to Christ’s teaching on marriage and against divorce does not imply insensitivity to the pain of the persons facing these unhappy situations. When divorce is the only possible recourse, the Church offers her support to those involved and encourages them to remain close to the Lord through frequent reception of the Sacraments, especially the Holy Eucharist. In the case of those who have divorced civilly and remarried, even though the Church considers the second marriage invalid, she does not want these Catholics to be alienated from her.” (# II.21).

Jesus was very clear on divorce in the Gospel today. Catholic marriage has two properties that make it different from any other form of union on earth, namely, unity and indissolubility. Therefore, According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, divorce is, objectively, an offense against the natural law; it “introduces disorder into the family and into society” and “brings grave harm to the deserted spouse [and] to children traumatized by the separation of their parents” (cf.#1644; 2384-85). It is consent willingly and freely given, expressed in the “I do”, that makes a marriage. The two partners are the celebrants, not the priest who is there as a principal witness along with the other two witnesses. What is happening with marriages today leaves me skeptical as to whether couples still mean or understand the “I do” when they exchange solemn vows before God and His people. It seems many are simulating marriage which means going through marriage for dubious reasons other than a partnership for their whole life. Marriage cannot be based on any conditions it is “for better or for worse”.

MARRIAGE AS A PARTNERSHIP FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE
Marriage is a partnership for your whole life, a companionship. None of the animals created by God were a worthy companion for man. So neither your cat nor your dog can be a companion; a human person should be.

Living together is ideal for married people. The marital bond remains, with or without children. So, don’t send your wife away because she has not given you children. Children are gifts from God, not man-made ones. People going into marriage must be psychologically, spiritually, and socially prepared. They must also have the capacity to support a family and raise children; not just give birth and abandon the children on the streets. Responsible parenthood and natural family planning (NFP) is what the Catholic Church advocates and teaches. My dear friend, if you are not ready for marriage, just live your peaceful life in the Lord and be happy. Many out there have vowed to remain single for the rest of their lives. Being single is not a stigma; it is a choice. Don’t let social or cultural persuasions push you into marriage. Remember, people will all come to eat and drink on the wedding day, but the responsibilities of the marital life, fall on your shoulders for the rest of your life.

HE MADE A COMPANION TO KEEP HIM COMPANY
From the very beginning, God made man and gave him a partner, a woman (not a dog, cat, or animal) as a companion. The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” as we heard in the first reading. I have always tried to distinguish between being alone and lonely. Being ‘alone’ conveys the meaning of not being with people, being physically separated from people you know and love. It could be a positive feeling. But being ‘lonely’ conveys the fact of having the sad feeling of being alienated or being separated from people you love. In this case, it is more of a negative feeling. A person in jail for instance may not be alone but is lonely.

I am more inclined to believe that God does not want a person to be alone and lonely at the same time. The essence of companionship in marriage and other vocations of life is that we keep each other company, lend a helping hand, and support one another, thus bridging the gap of loneliness. Unfortunately, there are many couples today living together as husband and wife and yet feeling lonely. On the other hand, there are many others separated by distance due to work or other economic factors who never feel lonely because they communicate daily. When hatred and unforgiveness set in, it widens the gap and creates a deep ocean of loneliness. It is not the distance that creates the gap but the mind. When you have hatred for someone, their presence does not hold any meaning to you anymore. Only love can bridge the gap and unite, even when physical distance creates the gap. Let us forgive one another and enjoy each other’s company.

Companionship is not just limited to marriage. Anyone that guides, and directs you to achieve your purpose in life is a companion, just like a mentor could be a companion to you in solving problems. In every vocation of life, we are called to be companions to each other, drawing each other closer to God. Marriage is an institution that helps married people to draw closer to God. This is why it is a sacrament. It endows God’s Grace on the couple to strengthen them in their marital responsibilities and in their struggles to attain salvation. If your marriage is leading you further into sin, it is time to mend it permanently so as not to be damned in it. The salvation of your soul is supreme.

HE CREATED A WOMAN FOR A MAN

God was not mistaken to have made a woman for a man. He did not create a man for a man nor a woman for a woman. I guess you know where I’m heading at this point. I have to tread with caution in this area because I know, many will never accept the truth, but the truth must be told. If it pricks your conscience then it is time to change your life. God from the beginning never endorsed homosexual or lesbian marriages. It is against the natural order of creation and divine positive law. I am becoming more puzzled about what is happening in society today. May God forgive us His children for duplicating evil and modifying God’s original intention for creation. I know for certain that God is not happy with this. Dear child, let us stick to God’s original plan for us and not destroy the beauty of God’s creation. God created man and woman to be co-creators. In marriage, this function is realized in procreation, which is a sacred gift, new life evolves (a human person). Any form of sexual exploitation is sinful. Married people should always see this responsibility of procreation as a sacred function and should avoid any form of manipulation or intervention geared towards contraception so that sexual union will reach its ultimate end.

“God loves us and wants us to be companions to each other. Let us ask for the grace to support and help each other as good companions for the glory of God. We also pray that married people may see their vocation as a gift to be nurtured in love and holiness, and work hard to make the family the safest place on earth.”

OCTOBER DEVOTION: SAY YOUR ROSARY DAILY IN THIS MONTH OF OCTOBER

I keep you and your family always in my prayers. Pray for me, Oct 7, is my birthday. © Clem C. Aladi

I keep you and your family always in my prayers. ©Clem C. Aladi (2024)